Miley Makes a Splash at the VMAs: 2013 Recap

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Most of this year’s VMAs was spent cringing at awful jokes and watching strange performances. After years of ridiculous costumes and performances, this show is hardly about the music at all. Luckily, there were a few performers that came through. Read on for my recap of the show!

Lady Gaga performed her newest single, ‘Applause’. Although I’m generally not a big Gaga fan, her performance was impressive. She went through outfit, hair, and makeup changes during the song as she continued to dance and sing perfectly. After starting out in an extreme, white nun’s habit she ended up stripping down to nothing but a clam bra and thong for the finale. I’m sure there was some meaning behind all of it, but it went way over my head. Unfortunately, this song is a bit stark and boring to be a favourite.

Miley-Cyrus-and-Robin-Thicke-MTV-Video-Music-AwardsFor the strangest performance of the night, Miley Cyrus is up next with her single ‘We Can’t Stop’. Perhaps she should try though, it’s getting a little pathetic. I know this performance is getting loads of attention, but there are a few points I need to make. At first she comes out with the teddy bear girls and she’s trying to twerk in a grey leotard. It’s odd, but nothing different from her video. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about the sexualization of teddy bears or the hyper-sexualized dancing, but it’s nothing different from her video. Next, she rips off the leotard to reveal a beige bra and panty set to perform ‘Blurred Lines’ with Robin Thicke. Stripper moves galore, grinding against Robin Thicke, and dry humping a foam finger are all involved, because why not? She’s a crazy girl now. It’s all a bit much, but it seems so obvious she’s just trying to get some attention, so why do we continue to oblige? What’s most uncomfortable about this entire performance is not that she’s in barely any clothing or that she’s grinding against Thicke (who happens to look a lot like Beetlejuice), but that she’s trying to prove she’s no longer Hannah Montana by doing all of this. If people found this to be too much, they shouldn’t be watching the VMAs which are notorious for ‘shocking’ performances. Has everyone forgotten when Marilyn Manson got a lifetime ban from the VMAs after his 1997 performance?

Moving on from that, Kanye West comes out for a performance of ‘Blood on the Leaves’. It’s so unfortunate he thinks he’s the shit when really he’s just shit. At least the censor and autotune people had a few minutes of work… seriously, why was there so much autotune? That was not good, and I’m confused with Justin Timberlake for saying that it was. Later on Drake was up with the songs ‘Hold On We’re Going Home’ and ‘Started from the Bottom’ and he rocked it just as much as Kanye did. With such a makeshift performance I can only say I’m happy it didn’t last any longer.

Taylor Swift wins Best Female Video for ‘I Knew You Were Trouble’ and makes a comment that seems to point directly to Harry Styles. Why is this a thing? I don’t care about all the One Directioners that hate Swift for being petty, and I don’t care about Swift’s drama. It’s a fun song, good for her for winning, but can we move on from the high school drama?

tumblr_ms5ce726sZ1qf6a2fo1_500The biggest moment of the night arrives as Justin Timberlake hits the stage for an over 15 minute montage of his music. Along the way we hear Sexy Back, Cry Me A River, My Love, Rock Your Body, and Senorita before the most anticipated moment arrives… *NSYNC comes out to perform a mashup of Girlfriend and Bye Bye Bye …was that it? Timberlake may be amazing, but I would have expected more from such a hyped up part of the show. After they depart, JT performs Suit & Tie and Mirrors to an insane crowd before Jimmy Fallon gives him an amazing opening for the Video Vanguard award.

Unfortunately, the night doesn’t end on that happy note, but goes straight back downhill. Kevin Hart arrives to make some jokes about Miley Cyrus needing a pregnancy test, Joey Fatone farting during the performance, and all of N’Sync getting fat. I don’t appreciate the rude comments that no one was laughing about, and I can’t describe how happy I am that he left.

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis come on stage to perform ‘Same Love’ with Mary Lambert. It’s their normal, wonderful performance until surprise guest Jennifer Hudson shows up to rock it. Apart from JT, this may be my favourite of the night, but then Bruno Mars comes up for his first ever Moon Man and a performance of ‘Gorilla’ with a massive special effects light show. The song definitely grew on me, and his theatrics are amazing to watch.

The closing performance of the night is Katy Perry on the Brooklyn bridge, performing ‘Roar’. Honestly? It wasn’t that spectacular. For a closing out the night performance it was lame, I expected excitement and… something. She’s in a boxing ring and moving around a little bit, but there was no thing that gave the performance a lift to make it special.

What did you guys think about Miley’s performance? Check out the poll, and tell me what you thought of show in the comments below!

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