Bachelor 18: Juan Pablo Makes Clare Cry

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Did they or didn’t they? That’s the big question of this week’s Bachelor episode, but let’s go back to the beginning when Juan Pablo took the 11 remaining women to Vietnam.

Renee, the caring woman that’s been taking care of everyone else and desperately waiting for her first kiss, was given the first one on one of the weeks. She was transported around by JuanP in a pedicab that looked like a big stroller and then he took her to get a custom fit dress for their dinner date later on. Later on, they met up for dinner but despite her clearly being into him there was no kiss. She did get the rose, so at the cocktail party/rose ceremony she’ll end up getting her kiss and become a giddy girl.

I’ve started to really regret my initial excitement about JuanP being the Bachelor, though. His decision to use Renee’s 8-year-old son Ben as the reason he won’t kiss her during their date is completely ridiculous. JuanP already kissed Cassandra with the younger son, and if he assumes Renee will allow Ben to watch her pursuing a man in The Bachelor, then what does that say about Renee? I doubt Camilla will really be watching JuanP making out with all the women he’s already gone out with, and the fantasy suites? Come on. There’s no way this is the real reason for telling girls he can’t kiss them, he’s just not interested enough. Which is unfortunate, because Renee seems like such a genuine, sweet woman.

Juan Pablo took most of the girls out for a group date into those circular bamboo boats in groups of two. I know all the other girls complain that Clare gets so much time with JuanP, but she’s playing it smart and getting time with him. Yes, it’s nice to have friends in the house so you can couple up with someone, but isn’t it better to be in the boat with JuanP? As everyone is going down the river Clare and JuanP get stuck and he leans in to kiss her, and they ended up a bit late. Of course, he can kiss Clare in front of other women he’s dating but not Renee who he’s on a date with in private. Makes total sense.

After that, they go to a beautiful nighttime locale to get drunk and cause drama. Although he’d almost exclusively been with Clare so far during the group date, he pulls her away again to spend some quality make out time. Instead of going down to the beach or finding a couch he sneaks her away to his suite so they can make out in his private pool. They must have been gone for at least half an hour, so that’s rude. When they finally returned to the group he whisked Sharleen away for some slightly less awkward make out time at the beach even though all she wanted was to know he saw her “as a panda in a room full of brown bears.” Why is that the phrase she chose to use? Just like Sharleen couldn’t get any conversation out, Andi was immediately subdued from her concern when JuanP said she could “trust him.” Tell a girl she’s pretty and she’ll immediately fall for you, or does that only work on this show? I don’t know why all these girls are so dumbstruck by him. Yea, he’s attractive and has a nice accent but there’s been almost no conversation with any of the girls for five weeks.

After the group date ended, Clare snuck out to JuanP’s suite so she could fulfill her lifelong dream of “swimming in a warm ocean.” She really needs to reconsider her life goals, but let’s pretend that was just a line to get him in the ocean. SO it’s 4am and JuanP has taken the time to get changed before heading down to the beach with Clare. They’re both giddy, running into the waves, laughing, and making out for what seems like ages. I can only imagine what they did out there, and it didn’t help when Clare was intercut talking about how magical and wonderful what they did was. Saying all the things to make everyone think they had sex… but I can’t imagine he’d have unprotected sex so readily (or that it would be that easy, what with the waves they were in).

Nikki’s one on one date was a little tame after that group date with Clare. They repelled down into a cave called Hell even though Nikki was terrified of heights. They made out, he checked out her bum for a while, and she was so happy it’s like she’d put her finger into a light socket. Is that what love feels like? Interesting. Moving on…

At the cocktail party and rose ceremony, JuanP immediately pulled Clare aside to discuss the late night ocean dip they both partook in. Suddenly he’s having second thoughts about their swimming trip because he wants to be fair and give each of the girls equal time with him. When Clare doesn’t immediately back down with that excuse, he pulls out the daughter card for the hundredth time this season. With that, she bursts into tears because it was completely her fault that he willingly went into the ocean with her and it’s her job to think about his daughter, and why is his daughter watching The Bachelor??? Initially, it seemed like he was letting her down easy with the fairness excuse, like suddenly he realized he didn’t like her that much, but then he pushed it into the daughter excuse and he just got so dickish.

In the end, he kept Renee (1on1), Clare (group), Nikki (1on1), Sharleen, Chelsie, Andi, Cassandra, and Kat. If he’s crying when sending home three girls in the top 11 I can’t imagine how he’ll fair when sending home the runner-up. In the preview for next week, it seems like Clare is still distraught about JuanP’s blame game, and Sharleen doesn’t know if she should stay.