Bachelor in Paradise Causes Broken Legs and Love Trianges

Last week, Michelle K left because she wasn’t making “connections” with any of the right guys, and Daniella was sent home when Ben chose Sarah instead. This week, we’re back in a small Mexican hut for drama, dates, and crazy women.

Before the show really begins, Chris Harrison shows up for an explanation of why Michelle K pulled herself out of the BiP house last week. Her lack of connection didn’t extend to the crew members, as she was hooking up with a man named Ryan Putz who would rather jump out a balcony than face being caught with her. Looks like it didn’t work for him, he ended up with two broken legs which we saw in an embarrassingly bad reenactment, crash dummy and all. OUCH!

Chris Bukowski, the womanizer, showed up with a date card at the beginning of the episode. If even Ben thinks Chris is bad news, then he really must not be good. Chris chose Clare for the couples massage date. She goes in with an open mind, looking for love. They talk reputations and both come across as relatively normal, but that’s how womanizers are supposed to seem right? It looks like a relationship might be forming, but it all goes downhill.

Throughout the episode Robert was seen moping about Marcus and Lacy’s relationship instead of looking for a new girl. Marcus got the second date card of the episode and (surprise, surprise) chose Lacy for the date. They went for a dinner date and then “explored” to this candle display.

Elise and Dylan have been “together” since the first day of the show, and while Dylan feels smothered by her, she’s already starting to fall in love with him. When he tries to break the news to her, she starts arguing about how great their relationship is, but in the end they are off to meet other people. Dylan isn’t actually finding anyone else, but Elise is immediately flirting with a couple of guys before she ends up making out in the ocean with Chris B. Clare immediately writes off Chris, and Dylan does the same with Elise. He expected them to get to know other people, not immediately hook up with other guys. That just proves she doesn’t feel strongly about Dylan, because she wouldn’t have gone for someone else. So did he want her to pine after him or find something new? I’m confused, however I’m not crazy like Elise, viewing this as a bump in the road to her perfect life with Dylan.

Later on, Dylan gets a date card which Elise assumes he’ll take her on, but instead he asks her BFF Sarah to come. She goes running back to Elise and after a rather rude discussion of how Dylan IS still in love with Elise despite everything saying the opposite, Sarah does end up going on the date. They go to dinner and have…a conversation? I don’t know, it wasn’t the most exciting of dates.

Zack K shows up as the second extra guy of the episode and Clare runs down the beach to hug him right away. Clare and Zack were friends before BiP started, and now they’re exploring Tulum and immediately acting couple-y on their date. While in the ocean, Clare definitely felt a “connection” with Zack. Ha. Ha. Ha. How much sex is everyone having on this show? Should I be concerned about going in the ocean again or do they have mandatory STI tests before coming on?

Marcus spilled water on Ben’s stuff and then discovered a letter to his girlfriend. Just as Michelle Money is starting to go for him too. Marcus and Marquel go down to the beach to confront him about the letter and everyone gets involved. He came for the “experience” but there’s a woman back home that he recently met so he isn’t looking for the all important BiP connections. He ends up leaving because everyone is angry with his deceit while Michelle goes running off, crying about her failed attempt at love (please). The next night at the rose ceremony she is chatted up by both Marquel and Robert looking for roses.

In the end, the roses were handed out as follows:
Lacy – Marcus
Ashlee – Graham (they didn’t even have any drama this week, no more crazy)
Clare – Zack
Michele M – Marquel (what’s Robert to do?)
Elise – Chris B (she asked Dylan but he refused, allowing her to make a cringeworthy speech about love before asking Chris)
Sarah – Robert (despite her date with Dylan, she decided to keep Robert around instead, maybe they’ll get a connection)

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