Ben is Confused by Onesies and Unicorns on The Bachelor

If this episode were a limo entrance, it certainly wouldn’t win any first impression roses. Wine and snacks with my girls was the only reason this kept me so entertained. Oh, and my Bachelor League certainly helped to (which you should definitely check out here).

We didn’t need his conversation with his parents before we met the girls, his family is way too normal to make it on reality TV. Remember that time a bird died and then the mother insisted on having a funeral for it? #goodtimes

After that, he sat down with Sean Lowe, Jason Mesnick, and Chris Soules. Now, I understand why Jason and Sean are there, since they’ve both had successful relationships come out of this series, but Chris and Whitney broke up because of their fame-whoredom. These chats are meant to remind us of the successes, not the embarrassing failures of Prince Farming and his chirpy ex.

Then again, Bachelor fans are here to see crazy girls, watch attractive men, and find the meaning of love. Ben is difficult to pin down. He’s sweet and adorable, but also less than intelligent. Who knows, maybe he’s really smart but his conversations weren’t witty and didn’t seem to get any of the puns and jokes the girls led with. Even the scripted Chris Harrison joke was lost on him. *cheers to another season of scripted family time and awkward dates* Here’s to an adorably confused Bachelor season.

First impressions are a time for the crazies to shine, the normal girls to win us over, and the inbetweeners to find something insane to prove their reason for being here. There were some interesting choices, but as always a bunch of them blurred together. The twins Emily and Haley show up together and set off some angry drinking with the other women. They have 2 on 1 time instead of 1 on 1, and really play into the twinning threesome idea. I’m sure Ben partially kept them for that.
mandi limoAlthough a play on words is fun, it doesn’t always work out. Wearing a onesie when you first show up is just lame, and telling a guy he’s a catch after you’ve hiked up your dress to toss him a football proves your unclassy. Then there’s Mandi, who showed up with a big fake rose on her head.


lace limoThen, there were the crazies. Mandi fits that description quite easily – nobody wants a dentist when they’re looking for love. Then there was Shushanna who didn’t speak English (did we ever hear her speak after the limo entrance?) and had Ben confused. A bit of mystery is good, so much that he doesn’t know when you’ve said your name is bad. Lace (pictured) is the worst of the bundle so far. She showed up tipsy and progressively got more drunk as the night went on. Her introduction involved kissing him (she must want the points for a Bachelor pool) but is later rejected when she goes to ‘make up’ for it. He’s an innocent guy, being that forward can’t be a win with him. She ended up talking crap about a lot of the girls and getting quite expressive. Who knows, maybe she’ll calm down after this but once a drunk always a drunk on this show.

olivia limoSome women hit it off with Ben quite well. Olivia gets the first impression rose by being sweet and friendly, without coming on too strongly. Lauren B is bubbly, and sweet enough to match Ben. It’s a shame he didn’t seem to get the wings ‘take off’ pun since she’s a flight attendant though… Jubilee seems interesting, but I don’t think she’ll handle the Bachelor mansion very well. It seems like something goes downhill for her later on, but that might be blown out by editing. The twins seem nice, and I’m rooting for them, but unless they saw the Ashley problems from last summer’s Bachelor in Paradise, there will be some drama with that sisterly competition. Caila is a young thing on this season, and despite seeming like a pot stirrer Ben seems really interested. Hopefully he didn’t read her immature bio.

Girls that made it: Olivia (first impression), Amber, Becca, Caila, Emily, Haley, Jackie, Jamie, Jennifer, JoJo, Jubilee, Lace, Lauren LB, Lauren B, Lauren H (he’s really make it hard on the viewers), Leah, Mandi, Rachel, Samantha, and Shushanna.

The producers obviously made him keep Mandi and Lace, since their the crazies, but normally the Bachelor is supposed to pretend a bit better. His face after picking Mandi was so disappointed in himself, and then Lace confronts him after she’s chosen to stay? Sure, she’s last and he made no eye contact during the ceremony… But she has to understand this entire show is fake, right?

So after picking your top five, head over to the results of this week’s fantasy pool here and find out how you stack up with points. Or, check out my Twitter to get in on the discussion next week @reviewsbylauren.