Girls Come Out of Cakes, and The Bachelor Splits the Twins Up

JoJo gets the first 1 on 1 of the week, and initially they’re just drinking champagne in an empty parking lot. It’s an ugly choice, and when their helicopter arrives it also proves disastrous as the champagne and small table blows over. Whoops. All the girls are watching from their vantage point in the hotel room, so that gives them some fodder to make fun of later. Initially Olivia plays it cool when JoJo gets the date, but after seeing them kiss she “feels as though she’s been cheated on.” Way to understand the point of the show, girl. They’re date proves to be a whirlwind of boring. They fly around, have drinks, discuss her last relationship and whether she’s “ready” after 5 months, then go to a rooftop for fireworks. All the girls in the hotel realize what’s happening when they hear fireworks, but how can you really? I’m sure fireworks are a much more common occurrence for Las Vegas than other locations they go. Either way, the producers pull out the classic fireworks-to-end-a-date cliché and move on to the next date.

2Amanda, Caila, Emily, Haley, Jennifer, Jubilee, Lauren B, Lauren H, Leah, Olivia, and Rachel get the group date, leaving Becca for the second 1 on 1. Don’t tell Olivia, but her jealousy is showing. As they arrive at a big theatre in Las Vegas, it’s obvious they’ll be doing a talent show in front of a full audience but they don’t seem to get that. Once they find out, some of the girls are near tears, and others go in search of Ben to hint at what they’ll be doing. Of course, Olivia is that other girl and she refuses to tell anyone what she’s doing before she hits the stage. If only she had told someone she was popping out of a stripper cake and doing a ‘sexy’ dance, then maybe she could have dropped the idea. As it were, all the other acts were silly and goofy, and perfect for the show. Jubilee played the cello, the twins did a gig, someone made balloon animals… The usual fare. Then Olivia’s cake is rolled on and it all goes downhill. She’s popping out in a bikini and cape, but the cape gets snagged and she starts to fumble and bumble around. Not sexy.

In the evening, all the girls go for a cocktail party as Olivia has an anxiety attack and resolves to fix things. He seems to be really hitting it off with the “sex panther” Caila. She keeps talking about being shy and not easy to open up, and then she jumps in for the kiss when they have a chance to talk, and never lets him go. Then again, that’s better than having Olivia rant and rave about how awkward she was, and how that was her desired effect — sexy awkwardness. Is that a thing? It certainly wasn’t happening on stage. She just doesn’t know how to be sexy, in her journal entry she’s stuffing her fingers in her mouth to have the ‘dazed and confused’ look, but it just pointed out her big mouth. In the end, Lauren B got the group date rose. Best moment of the date? Definitely when Ben got a little drunk off his massive glass of wine (seriously, was that the whole bottle in there?) and started acting a bit more fun. Why can’t he always be drunk and loosen up a little?

1Becca got the second 1 on 1 of the episode, and before her date began a wedding dress was delivered. She shows up, and he gets down on one knee to propose…that they marry other people. All that wedding dress for one measly gag… I’m disappointed, producers! They end up marring others for the day portion of the date, and talking about Becca’s virginity (and Ben’s choice to have sex) throughout the evening. She seemed to open up more quickly with Ben then she did with Chris last season, and I’m sure that’s what gets her the 1 on 1 rose.

In a surprise turn of events, Ben decides to have a 2 on 1 with the twins, Emily and Haley. But it’s not any normal 2 on 1, they’re in Las Vegas so why not stop into their mother’s house! It seems the girls still live here, and when he goes into their rooms it’s obvious which girl he’s going to choose. Haley brings him into her messy room she didn’t clean before leaving for the show, and hastily removes pictures of her ex-boyfriend as Ben comments on them. Is he really an ex? Emily and Ben curl up on his bed and chat, which seems a lot better than judging a messy room with stuffed animals on the bed. When he talked to their mum it seemed certain she was telling him to pick Haley, but he ended up going with Emily and leaving Haley at their house. That’s certainly one way to decide between the twins, but he also couldn’t be too into either of them if that’s what it took to choose?

The women who stay are: JoJo (1 on 1), Lauren B (group), Becca (1 on 1), Amanda, Caila, Emily, Jennifer, Jubilee, Lauren H, Leah, and Olivia.

Once again, Olivia was chosen last at the rose ceremony and read a lot into his hug. Really, he’s keeping you because you’re the crazy girl and yea maybe he’s sort of into you… but you won’t be his wife like you expect. Olivia’s become the full crazy girl of the season, even resorting to talking in third person and calling Ben her husband.

For our Fantasy Pool points this week, check here.

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