Rachel starts her journey as The Bachelorette, and the men can’t handle Whaboom

Earlier I talked about each of Rachel’s men vying for her love this season, but now we’re onto the show and I.Can’t.Deal. There is already so much crazy and I cannot wait to get these dates underway.

Bare with me as I learn everyone’s names though… I honestly don’t know how I’ll keep them straight these first couple weeks.First up, we get an in-depth look at a few of the men. Kenny the pro-wrestler is “Pretty Boy Pitbull” (what kind of name is that?), Jack’s mum died of cancer, Mohit loves Bollywood dance, and literally, all Blake E talked about was his sexual prowess. He’s kind of gross. Diggy owns billions of pairs of sneakers, but he has a cute dog so there’s that. Josiah makes fake professional phone calls and has a bully-suicide story in his family. He cut his brother down from a tree when he was 7?!? He’s going so far in this show.

Then, we get the girl talk with some Bachelor friends and they’re all so supportive. It’s super sweet and I just want more of this all season. Can we get lots of friend-times, please??

Meeting the Men

We get some good guys to start with: Peter with a super cute, sincere thing that I’m into, Josiah with the legal puns, Bryan who speaks Spanish, and Kenny with some dance moves. Everyone is raving about her in the house and it’s so cute.

Rob, Iggy, Bryce who sweeps her off her feet, Will who does an Urkel impression, Diggy, Kyle who brings buns, Blake K all show up without too much going on, and Brady who “breaks the ice” before the men she’s previously met. Dean seemed to succeed with the “going black” line, Eric comes and dances with her again, DeMario brings the confidence (a little too much), and aspiring drummer Blake E shows up with a marching band.

Fred brings an old yearbook and apparently they were in school together? That’s insane. Jonathan goes to tickle her (which is weird), Lee brings his guitar, and Matt shows up in a penguin costume. There are so many men and so few memorable entrances. I mean, until Lucas the whaboom guy showed up. Those guys do not look excited to live in the house with him.

The First Steal

Josiah pulls Rachel away first and all the guys immediately forget how this show works. Wait, people have to steal her away to get their time? As the night goes on Josiah really pushes his confidence into the range of cocky but I still have high hopes.

Bryan pulls her away into a little corner to talk about the nitty-gritty of this. He’s serious and is good with his hands. He brings the first kiss of the season and… does anyone else have some Josh Murray vibes? I don’t hate him but I’m definitely wary.A couple guys get a little too drunk

Sometimes I really love these producers. Adam brought a doll thing with him which initially was just weird but they turned it into an absolutely great gag for a few minutes.

To be honest, Kenny is real cute. I didn’t think I’d be this down for the pro-wrestler guy but… he seems incredibly sweet. And then there’s Lucas – the whaboom guy. UGH. Nothing is crazier than this guy. What is that? I don’t know what Lucas’ problem is but he’s clearly looking for attention and nothing else. Apparently, he’s been trying to contact a lot of the Bachelor Nation women the past couple weeks as well, if that doesn’t make him a lot shittier.

The First Impression Rose

Everyone starts freaking out a little more after Chris puts down the first impression rose. Josiah puts it in his lapel, joking that he already has it, but ends up a little abashed later on.

After Bryan’s kiss and their apparently strong conversation, Rachel runs off to give him the first impression rose and his Josh Murray connection is just getting stronger. I kind of really like him, but I also can’t help but worry that he’ll either fizzle really quick or become absolutely awful. So far, all the guys seem pretty chill with him, though. No one was too frustrated that he got it, just poking fun at Josiah’s confidence.

Rose Ceremony in the AM

This rose ceremony is starting SO late in the evening it’s literally the next morning. That always seems so brutal and like such a recipe for disaster.

The men who stay: Peter, Will, Jack, Jamey, Iggy, Eric, DeMario, Jonathan, Bryce, Alex, Kenny, Dean, Matt, Anthony, Brady, Josiah, Lee, Diggy, Fred, Adam, Blake E, and… Lucas.

Of my seven favourites, only Blake K wasn’t given a rose which feels pretty good! Even though it’s obvious Lucas was a producer pick, I can’t reconcile that he stayed. He’s just too crazy for this show to pretend to be actually for finding love. But who do you think should have got the roses? Let me know on Twitter @reviewsbylauren!