The Bachelorette tells her suitor to “get the f*** out”

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Early season Bachelor and Bachelorette can get so cheesy – but that’s exactly what I love about it. After the crazy-long first night, all the boys changed into t-shirts to become the regular boys they are and started shouting out for Rachel. But don’t worry, Chris Harrison is there to find out how the boys feel about her. Anyone else a little weirded out about how much they talked about how she smells?

After that, we get our first “right reasons” drop and a date card…

Dean, Jack, Jonathan, Blake, Iggy, Kenny, Fred, and Lucas get prove to Rachel that they’re husband material. Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis looked up the show when they found out Rachel was running things because they just love her so much, and honestly… it’s really great. They make fun of the show and bring some of the cutest moments in their journals. Can they be in every episode, please?

After a pretty uneventful husband chores obstacle course that Lucas wins (and narrates, because the producers think he’s exciting to watch), everyone visits this awesome retro arcade game place and I’m honestly pretty pumped about that. It’s a way cooler location than the usual rooftop hotel bar! Rachel doesn’t seem into any of these guys though, going so far to call them mundane. If this season will be fun with all these meh dudes, then that brutal honesty will need to continue.

The Blake and Lucas feud starts off hot and heavy tonight too – apparently bringing makeup to look good on TV is unacceptable, despite that seeming really normal because you guys are on TV. I don’t like Lucas, and don’t want to defend him, but how can you call him out for going on this show to get TV exposure when that’s obviously what you’re doing as well? This feud started a couple years ago when they both were on this shitty Ex-Isle reality dating show. And then Blake tells Lucas point-blank that he called him out. He’s just giving him the  But hey, why rely on a stellar leading lady and fun dates when you could focus on two annoying dweebs, right?

Finally, we get a couple good dudes. I didn’t think I was going to like Dean, but they’re giggly and friendly, and I’m really digging it. Pretty obviously, he gets the rose but I just can’t deal with how much I like him suddenly. He didn’t kiss her because he didn’t want to disrespect her if she wasn’t feeling it? Ugh, if that’s genuine then I’m so on board. Then, Kenny sits down with Rachel and immediately starts raving about his daughter. He seems like such a sweetheart.

Doggy Dates

Peter gets the first one on one that’s actually more of a two on one – with her dog Copper. There’s so much I love about this date – that Peter didn’t flinch when she asked if another guy could come along, that she ‘tricked’ him with that, that Peter seemed to have this big goal of wooing her dog. Rachel’s dates are so fun – who doesn’t to hang out at a Barkfest pool party?

He seems so intelligent and they seem to have such a good connection of an evening, and he’s growing on me as well. She just brings a lot of joy to all of her conversations, I can’t get enough of her. Plus, anyone else notice the jokey ‘move to Dallas’ and ‘if we have kids’ moments? CUTE. I’m feeling this so much. She’s a smitten kitten, he looks a little emotional, and I cannot wait for their moments this season.

Basketball Diaries

Will, Jamey, Diggy, Alex, Adam, Lee, Matt, Eric, Josiah, and Demario all make it onto the basketball date with a little 5 on 5 game. Most of the guys are a little meh at this, but Kareem Abdul Jabbar gives some soulful, insightful advice which was unexpected. Unsurprisingly, DeMario is waaaay too cocky to succeed here, and the date only goes downhill for him.

Previews have been hyping up the drama that one of the men has a girlfriend back home, and who would have guessed – it’s DeMario! So Rachel steals DeMario away from all the guys, which has everyone assuming he’ll get the rose. Oh how wrong they are… instead, he’s caught out with these two women. Rachel takes a cool approach, trying to suss out all the facts before she decides what the truth is. She is such a lawyer, and it’s fantastic. She kicks him out and paces around for a while before joining the rest of the guys.

Suddenly, all the guys find out and they are blown away. This evening (at another cool drinking spot) all the guys focus on how hurt she was or how awful DeMario was. Josiah gets a bit protective, Diggy admires her strength, and Alex makes her laugh with an old Russian song. I love seeing all these guys chatting together and bonding.

 

Cocktail Parties and Rose

Oh sorry, did you think the DeMario drama was done? Now that the guys know they can show up and interrupt like Nick and Chad have in the past, why not do that whenever you’re unceremoniously booted off? It really proves DeMario was in this for the exposure as well – it only hurts him. But then, we’re hit with the to be continued. I’ve gotten to the point where I just assume the TBC means a 5-10 minute segment wrapping up that story next episode and then we’re off to another regular week of dates and drama. It almost does the opposite of a cliffhanger now.

Roses: Dean (group), Peter (1on1), Josiah (group), and we’ll find out the rest next week. Let me know what you think will happen with all the DeMario drama, and who your favourites of the episode were on Twitter @reviewsbylauren!

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