The Bachelorette episode 1 recap: Becca does the damn thing

Last year, Becca’s heart was broken in a very public breakup—Arie brought a camera crew into her home to end their engagement and get back together with his runner-up, Lauren. Becca gets her first little cry in of the season, but then we’re off to girl talk and the male features.

Rachel, Jojo, and Kaitlyn (my GURL) visit to share their successful engagements. It’s a normal ‘success story meeting’ until they sage the place and set the fire alarm off. Oh well, drunk girls gotta have their fun. All I learned from this scene: you need to sage your cooch after a breakup. Apparently.

Chris R, Jordan, Trent, David, Jean Blanc, Rickey, Chase, Jason, Jake, Clay, Kamil, Trent, Mike, Darius, Wills, Christon, John, Joe, Connor.Every season, we get a few previews of some of the promising and weird men. Clay ended up impressing me a lot more than his small bio. Now he seems really sweet, a little sensitive. I’m definitely a fan of his for now. Garrett is incredibly sweet. He’s silly, goofy, adorable, I can’t get enough. Jordan is the cocky, tool of a male model. Definitely a Robbie 2.0, but that just means I’m going to hate him. Lincoln’s accent gets me every time, I can’t wait to hear him this season. Colton also seems real cute—the charity work and his big pupper? UGH, this season should be good. But then… Jean Blanc. Honestly, a collector of cologne is not a winner.

And then… the limo exits. Click on each of the pictures below to find out more about them!

 

Other interesting limo exits included Clay’s super nervous but adorable exit where he made a few adorable puns, the nervous Joe who stumbled over his words, Lincoln who brought cake for his birthday, and Chris who closed out the gimmicky limo exits by pulling a choir out of a limo.


Things really got started after the limo exits wrapped up. Click each of the photos below for more information on the men!

 

Connor was the first to get some solo-time with Becca after the limos and he continued to show some sensitivity that I didn’t expect. If he isn’t the dumb player-type then I’m really looking forward to this season! Clay brought out the Play-Doh (clay) to get to know Becca a little better and they made adorable little figurines of each other. Let’s just say they’re not the best artists. Garrett did a little fly-fishing demonstration with Becca and got her thinking about how he’s similar to her dad—I’m calling it, will he be in the top two?

But away from all those sweet boys, Jordan the douchey model gave us some pretty great commentary. He was so obsessed with everyone’s outfit choices during limo exits, aghast whenever someone lacked socks, wore loafers, or –God forbid– forgot a pocket square. He was so expressive all night, I can only assume he’s trying to break into some even bigger and better modelling or acting jobs after this season. I can’t wait for the “wrong reasons” discussion that’s sure to happen later. I’m sure the producers will want to keep him around for a while.

Speaking of the right reasons, Chris R came in hot with a text from one of Chase’s exes claiming Chase was only on the show to improve his sales. Chase never really defended the content of the texts, instead deciding to minimize the relationship with this girl. Apparently, they dated for 2 or 4 weeks, about 2 years ago, and it may have actually been one date. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m not surprised Becca didn’t keep him around.

And all of that Chase drama made her realize that Jake, the guy she kind of knows from back home, isn’t here for the right reasons either. It seems that Jake may have been some kind of crazy partier since he doesn’t remember the majority of his meetings with Becca, but after a “very transformative year” he DID remember meeting her at the Christmas party. However, they never pursued each other after all these meetings, so he’s probably only there for fame. Can’t fault her for that, you really don’t need a guy poking your shoulder whenever he makes a point.

 


The Bachelorette ep 1 — Rose

All of a sudden, the first impression rose is on the table and all of the guys are panicked. The past few Bachelorettes have all given this rose to their future fiancé, so it seems like this pick is important. And with that, Garrett gets the rose. He’s so chuffed and excited. He seems like such an adorable, incredible guy to have as one of the main contenders this season.

Becca then hands out the rest of the roses. First up is Lincoln, the sweet Nigerian guy who might have a lot of drama in future episodes. Then, we get Blake, Rickey, Jean Blanc, Christon, Clay, Wills, Connor, Jason, John, Ryan, Alex, Nick, Trent, Colton, David, Jordan, Leo, Mike, and Chris.

So that means Jake, Darius, Grant, Kamil, Christian, Joe, and Chase are all sent home before chicken-boy. That is… unbelievable, honestly. I can’t imagine keeping David over Joe, he was such a sweet, adorable boy.

 

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