The Bachelorette ep 2 recap: Becca destroys her history with Arie and welcomes a naked Jordan

After last week’s tumultuous first episode, this season has been off to an interesting start. With the dramatic and tear-filled season preview, I’m sure we’ll find Becca to be a strong, decisive bachelorette, albeit maybe a little distraught. At least…if tonight’s any indication.

Group Date 1: Finding a Groom

Chris Harrison gives a little out of the box advice to the men (take all the opportunities to spend time with Becca that you can—groundbreaking), then he hands out the first date card of the season. Clay, Nick, Chris R, David, Jean Blanc, Jordan, Connor, and Lincoln all make it onto the first date “I’m ready for my big day”.

Rachel Lindsay and Bryan Abasolo from the last Bachelorette season as continued proof that this show can work, but with the group of guys Becca has… who knows. Speaking of… Jordan is his annoying model self, Connor is a dumb goofball (cute, though!) and Lincoln cheated throughout the competition. Let’s just say it… I’m conflicted about him! He was shaking his timer to get out of the water faster, using his hands to eat cake when he wasn’t supposed to, and shoved David out of the way to win. Bad move, Lincoln! Is that really the attitude you want your partner to have?

Once they get to the evening portion, the drama really begins. Lincoln brags a lot and keeps calling Becca his wife, but it all seems to be in jest until Becca gives him a framed photo and Connor takes offence. Lincoln keeps trying to shove the photo in the guys faces, which is a little annoying but that’s about it…until Connor decides to throw the photo across the patio shattering the glass. These boys are SUCH drama queens, but at least the rest of the guys seem to be over both Lincoln and Connor’s antics.

To sweeten up the night, it turns out our resident cologne obsessor Jean Blanc is actually super sweet and does a great job in his time with Becca. Unsurprisingly, he ends up with the rose.

The Bachelorette ep 2 — Jordan

The next morning, people are yo-yoing about who they think was more crazy on that date. One minute, Connor was in the wrong and then suddenly Jordan is judging Lincoln’s ingenuinity (so glad he hasn’t learnt his words) because Lincoln was crying the next morning about how that may have ruined everything. I didn’t realize Lincoln cared that much…

One on One: Blake Smashes Past Arie

Blake got the first one on one of the season so I’m betting he stays around for a loooong time into this show. Chris Harrison is in charge of this date apparently, and they head over to a warehouse filled with Arie-related items to smash the hell out of everything, because that’s what you normally do after a breakup… right?

So glad they invited Lil John and… I didn’t realize he spoke like a normal person? This was a bit of a strange date because I feel like we were still so focused on the Connor/Lincoln drama from the first date and Blake was a little plain—still sweet, though. Can we just appreciate that when they smashed an aquarium, they flashed up a sign saying “plastic fish, no animals were harmed”? Like… obviously you didn’t actually kill any fish.

After their smashing, they sit down to open up about past relationships—basically, they’ve both been in one, and they were very short-lived. Anyone else realize the timeline of that relationship? 2 months and love, 2 months and three days, it’s over. That’s not normal. At least Blake is comfortable chatting about his last relationship though, it’s long-proven that opening up helps get the rose and keep you around for a while.

Group Date 2: Dodging Hurt Feelings

Garrett, Rickey, John, Ryan, Alex, Christon, Trent, Leo, Wills, and Colton get the second group date, “love comes at you hard and fast”, which leaves Mike and Jason without dates this week. When they arrive, these three little kids put them through their paces and really abuse them a little. Can we get childhood commentary every week, please?

They do another ‘Ultimate Dodgeball Championship’ similar to how they did with Desiree a few years ago, but this one is very neon and in a trampoline room or something? I don’t know, but it was a very strange competition and I really don’t know what even happened. The green team won, basically beating Leo who was the only good competitor on the pink team.

That evening, the guys joke about hiding the trophy to avoid another picture-frame incident. Garrett sits down for some sweet sweet time with Becca, Wills starts jumping into the big questions and ends up getting the rose (I don’t get it??), and then Colton drops a bombshell. Apparently, Colton had a short-lived relationship with Tia in January, one of Becca’s friends from the Arie season of The Bachelor. In a way, I don’t understand why this was such a big deal for Becca, other than a fear he’s on the show just to be on the show… but I guess we’ll find out more next week.


Cocktails and Rose Ceremonies

Becca is a little flustered after the Colton revelation and the Lincoln/Connor drama from the date beforehand, but she gets back into it with some awkward Clay time. I know he’s trying to be fun, but he’s just so quiet. Connor tried to mend fences with Becca and had her chuck a photo of Connor from the first night into the pool. Kind of a cute idea, honestly.

Jordan then realizes he needs to do something to make an impression because he hasn’t had much time with her so he… strips down? “Nothing attracts a woman more than being comfortable next to a sexy man” I hate him. I honestly, really do. The producers have him wrapped around their little finger, he’s basically the male version of Corinne at this point. He interrupts David’s time with Becca then sits so awkwardly when talking with her—cross-legged, shirt draped over his crotch, and arms covering him up as well. I guess he’s a little self conscious. Is it too cold for him?

Later in the night, he gets confronted by David (why is everyone confronting people tonight?) and they have a conversation that goes nowhere about disrespect and “ingenenuity”. Cool. At least we get to see the fashion-conscious model in a fluffy, pink blanket. I’m sure that’s what everyone’s wearing on the catwalks nowadays… You know who wouldn’t be standing at that rose ceremony in a pink blanket? #JoeTheGrocer, I’m still not over Becca’s betrayal from last ep.

Men Staying: Jean Blanc (group), Blake (1on1), Wills (group), Chris, Jason, John, Clay, Mike, Connor, Leo, David, Garrett, Nick, Ryan, Jordan, Lincoln, and Colton.

Men Leaving: Alex, Rickey, and Trent (aka the people we forgot existed, because they barely made it on camera).

If you thought this week carried a lot of drama, get ready for next week’s injury-plagued episode. Colton’s ‘ex’ Tia shows up as a group of Becca’s friends from last season of The Bachelor arrive to take the men on a spa date, a Grammy-award winning artist helps Becca and Chris write lyrics for a one on one, and a NFL-themed date takes a nasty turn. Get ready for ambulances, tears, and lots of drama! And for those of you playing our Fantasy League, check out how tonight has changed the points on our spreadsheet!

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