The Bachelor episode 1: Did you know Colton’s a virgin?

I’m sure they expected we’d get another Sean Lowe situation out of this season, but instead, we have all the women channelling their inner dirty girls vying to be the first one he sleeps with for the season. Wasn’t this show supposed to be about love?

The Bachelor: Meet Colton’s Women

This year, virginal Colton Underwood is the Bachelor, much to the dismay of Jason supporters everywhere me. With a new season starting soon comes an announcement of Colton’s women. Surprise: there are NO Lauren’s this year. I know, I’m shocked too.

The Bachelorette ep 3 recap: Becca kicks off a week of injuries

Welcome to the injury episode! In a continuation of last week, we wrap up the Colton/Tia relationship drama, and a looooot more between David and Jordan. Jordan can’t sustain the intellectual connection David thinks Becca wants—he does know she was with Arie last, right?—and Jordan thinks that David’s cooking is lame. Jordan does know a man who cooks is sexy, right? If I learned anything tonight, both guys are awful but at least Jordan brings some entertaining crazy to spice things up.